I remember being one of the youngest and one of only a few females in a big board room at a company I used to work for. I was nervously listening to the conversation about a big move the company was making when someone turned to me and said, “What do you think, Bridget?”
I was a little shocked. I was new, didn’t have a lot of background on the issue, and I was focused on taking notes so I could ask questions later. I sounded as sure as I was when I said, “Do you want to know what I really think?”
It’s a silly question when I think about it now, but it’s taken me a while to understand why I’d even say something like that. It wasn’t about if I was experienced enough or had valuable ideas to contribute. What caused me to pause, and ask that strange question, was a lack of confidence. Deep down, I didn’t believe I shouldn’t be in that room and part of that discussion. I was afraid that someone would judge me as inexperienced or trying to be a know-it-all. I wasn’t sure if I had as much information as everyone else and if I was ready to contribute at the level I was being asked.
The truth is if I didn’t get it together at that moment to open myself up and share what was on my mind and in my heart, I would miss out on opportunities, and the company would miss out on a perspective it hadn’t heard or considered before.
So many times, we enter new situations with a little bit of doubt that we’re good enough, that we’re ready, and that we have something to offer. Even just a small amount of uncertainty can cloud our message and distract us from our purpose.
While we can’t diminish all of our doubts and insecurities, there are things we can do to prepare ourselves to show up as openly and authentically as we can. It starts with getting clear on why we’re reaching up or reaching out, what we hope to accomplish, and what we can bring to the table.
Focus and clarity take us out of our way so we can contribute at our highest level. Here are three steps to get you in the right mindset to share your ideas and show up boldly for bigger opportunities.
- Picture Who you Want to Help
Showing up is part of being of service. It’s easier to put aside our ego when we remember that bringing new ideas to light benefits others. We don’t have to have all the answers to share our perspective and bring value to the discussion. Nobody knows it all. The more we use our experiences to enhance the conversation, the better off we all are. Who can you help by putting yourself out there?
2. Take Control of The What Ifs
It’s easy to catastrophize scenarios that will most likely never happen. When my son was having trouble with new situations, like joining sports teams or trying new hobbies, we got him the book, Jonathan James and the Whatif Monster. The monster in the book asks all the scary questions: What if they laugh? What if you’re no good? Eventually, Jonathan learns to ask better questions: What if it’s fun? What if I make a new friend?
It’s normal to worry about saying the wrong thing, not being prepared for a question, or stumbling over your words in a live interview or presentation. But you can’t let those potential scenarios stop you. Wade through each of the “what if” situations that pop up for you when you’re feeling nervous. Feel into what it would be like to have that particular scenario happen and how you would handle it. Then, let it go. Start asking the more interesting and energizing questions: What if I’m excellent at this? What if this opens up new doors for me? What if I can help someone else figure this out?
3. Talk to Your Cheerleaders
When we take control of our “what ifs,” we keep the risk and opportunity in perspective.
One of the best ways to get into an empowered state of mind is to talk to your tribe. The people who know you and have worked with you are a great source of inspiration to help you fight through any doubts keeping you from taking on that next big challenge.
Share what you’re up to with your people. Ask them to review your presentation or article and give you constructive feedback. Getting your first version in front of someone will provide you with strength, clarity, and momentum to take the next step. If you don’t have someone, join a group, like SPARK Your Visibility, where you can get positive encouragement and feedback from others who believe in you!
So what happened to me in the boardroom? In the end, I did offer what was on my mind in that meeting. I don’t remember exactly what I said, but I do know that choosing to speak up and contribute made a difference. It resulted in more opportunities and discussions and allowed me to form deeper relationships with leaders.
The world benefits when we share and expand. It’s not always easy, but centering on our purpose, we can find the strength to show up. What is the big idea or goal you’re willing to put yourself out there for?